at a loss

who, what, where, when
Why?
How, did I get here.

I remember the
gentle night air on my cheek,
blowing away with it
the parts of my heart that i dropped along the way.

I remember
wishing that that same air could
carry me back in time so that
maybe
i could make it right.
but could i.
how would i get to right,
and
how can i recognize this,
as wrong.

How, did I get here.

I can't recall
who I became in that moment
when all was lost,
but it was me.
I can't recall
what I decided to say to
verbalize the melting pot of emotions that were
cooking in my gut,
but I spoke.
I can't recall
where I told my legs to go,
but they moved.
I can't recall
when the color faded
and blackness flooded my eyes,
but it did.
I can't recall
why.
but i guess i'm not all that surprised.

I can't recall
the sky falling through the walls,
but it had to,
I think.

How, did I get here.

there aren't enough words,
in any language
for me to explain how i feel right now.

I wish
someone could tell me it was gonna be alright,
and mean it.