I am still a mess...

A few years back I thought my life was over. Yea, I know, mad exaggerated. It wasn't really that serious, but at the time it felt like my heart had literally broken...just a normal human experience. So at the time, of course, I felt like I'd never get over it, like it would always be a tear in my heart I'd feel everyday. But of course, time continued, and life went on...it wasn't the end of my life, far from it. Even though I knew that then it was hard to see...it wasn't the first time. When your young I guess you just don't imagine that any part of the life your living could be removed and yet still your life remains intact. How thankful I am that you grow out of that phase.

Things have sure changed since then. I've been thinking a lot about it lately..life's progression, and how I've progressed with it. More often then not I've found that I'm just comfortable in my own skin, and more positive than I've ever been. I don't know when it happened, or how it happened, but I've gotten to a point I never thought to expect. I guess I always thought my soul was older than my numerical age, but recently it's like my soul is growing more rapidly than ever. I'm still a mess...yes. And from time to time I have to remind myself not to make the same mistakes I've made in the past. I have to remind myself of the woman I want to be- of the woman i am. But I sure am less of a mess then I was a few years back, -less then I was last year, last month, and last week.

It's when you don't look that you find what your not looking for.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"

-j