Deaf ears

I think I would say more to you
if I thought, that even for one second,
you would be listening.

Defected

I feel like the one bulb on the string of Christmas lights that will not turn on. Attached to many, yet click with none.

Ouch.

There's nothing I want to say
about so much that I want to say
so I don't say any if it
I just think it
I just hold it
I just feel it
in all the cracks in the armor I've built up.

A truly beautiful friend.

sometimes we begin to forget who we are. and then someone reminds us.

complete random thoughts about my now.

i think about some people a lot...every line is someone different...i can't always say and do what i want so i have to get the thoughts out of my head somehow...

i want to tell her that i know she lies...a lot.
i want to tell her that i love her...beyond the love i feel for most others, into a place that i can't describe in words.
i want to not love him, to forget him, to not miss him at the times where no one else would be right.
i want to know that i mean more than she does...even though i'm not sure i actually want to be more than she was.
i want to know him, beyond the messages of random facts and genuine stories that have filled my days with laughter.
i want to heal them, even if that means inflicting myself with all the pain they feel.
i want to make him happy, and i have no idea how, because he has no idea how and i want to fix that.
i want to tell him that its going to be okay...that in time the hurt will ease.
i want to tell her that this her life, and to not waste it complaining over everything she thinks is wrong with it.
i want to talk to him...in a way that will not only make him hear, but listen.
i want to hug her, and make her feel like she deserves better...because she does.

missed

For a moment,
I wondered where you went...
how you could be so here one minute
and so gone the next.
then I thought,
who am I to wonder where you went
instead of just being thankful you were here.