simple really

So I know now that he wasn't "never the man I thought he was"
He was never the man I wanted him to be.
He could only be the man he was.

both?

It is the curse
Of human nature
That we always want more
Than what we have.
Or is it the gift?

my mother, my blessing.

She has always been at the very core of my existence.
My most powerful strength
and
My most vulnerable weakness
all wrapped up in the most beautiful package.

When I was younger
I can't recall the number of times I was told
"your the splitting image of her"
and
I can't put into words how
lucky that made me feel.
I, me, looked like her, she
is everything amazing in this world.
and I
couldn't think of anything I would rather have heard.

She is everything I want my future daughter
to see in me.
and I appreciate her
far more than just one day out of the year.

i got carried away in the moment.

Motorized seats
Who thunk this one up.

Bizz
And the foot stool comes up
Bizz
The seat back reclines back
Bizz
The neck rest comes forward.
Bizz
The leg rest comes up

I'm fighting the urge to say
You do realize
that has to go back
before we take off right?

And another thing
Why, are you talking to me?
Does this look like the face that wants to be talked to?

I mean really
I don't want to know
Where your going
What your doing
Where your coming from.
I don't want to tell you
Where I'm going
What I'm doing
Where I'm coming from.
And no I will not
Tell you what I do for a living.
You occupy the seat next to me
That doesn't make you important.

Oh the little lessons in self control.

not always what it seems

Now...
It's like Laverne without Shirley
Tom with no Jerry
Like Thelma without Louis
Harold with no Kumar
Or
Not.

Sooner or later
You get tired of being a remarkably better friend
Then the one you got.

ugh (again)

I keep thinking that if I keep thinking about it I'll figure out how this happened...but I'm not any closer to figuring it out after a week. I just know that I can't make this same mistake again. My emotions hit an all time low, and I refuse to be back here. ugh. If I only knew how to kick my own ass. I would place all the blame on my shoulders if I knew it belonged there.

breathe in....breathe out

and let it go.

when at last we meet.

I turn the corner of 2nd and 3rd and find
the one.
I, trip on my own two feet and get caught by the
comforting feeling of the universe aligning in my favor
or maybe
it's you who catches me, right
before I hit the ground.
And, in your eyes I see the clouds part and the
sun set
And the
horizon is where our lips met.

My heart beats to the
syllables of your name like its known this rhythm forever.

I know you're out there,
I look forward to meeting you.

not quite finished.

butterflies,
i didn't know they could fit in my stomach.
but there they were and
there i was
worrying that
he would hear their wings fluttering about.

minutes had turned to hours and
hours had turned to days and
days had turned to weeks and
weeks had turned to months and
months had turned to years and
years had brought us here,
to this moment.
had the minutes and, the hours
the days and, the weeks
the months and, the years
made us strangers...

i dont know where i'm going with this.
or rather
where this is going with me.