Playback

I keep coming back to thoughts of you,
And at this point
I'm not really even sure the memories are anywhere near as good as I remember them...
But I miss them either way.

sssshhh....

He speaks
And it's like my heart can hear
cause I swear-
he's speaking directly to it.
And it's beating is in sync with the syllables he speaks in such a seductively sweet sound
that I have to hold myself back from sucking the nectar that must be secreting from his succulent lips

Somewhere in there.

I hide my hopelessly romantic side underneath my
shit just never works out side...
because I'm kind of hopeless when it comes to romantic notions.
I guess I'm jaded that way.

I still care

I'd be lying if I said I never think of you.
Because the truth is, I rarely don't.
And I have,
All the years since I ended things.
I know it was the right thing then...
Problem is there's nothing I can do about it now.
But,
I think I'd be ok with that,
If only I knew you were really happy with her.
I hope one day you will be...

All I can do is wonder

I didn't tell you,
I don't think,
I took it for granted...
thought you'd always be around.
I wonder if you ever knew your impact.

The way you looked at me...
If honesty could be personified in a look,
It would be in the way you looked at me.
And I don't think I was ready for that truth.

But now....
Now I know,
that you will always be the one
I wonder about.
And I'll wonder,
if you're ever wondering about me too.

Good one

I wouldn't make a decision with a man in mind...
But, if I did,
This man might be the kind.

hurry up and wait

Waiting.
Waiting to see a loved one
Waiting to see a new movie
Waiting for that amazon box in the mail
Waiting for food to be done
Waiting for a goodnight kiss...
these I can handle.
Waiting, for news-
news that can potentially be good
or potentially bad,
this,
I am no good at.

just need to get it out.

I see her lips moving,
but I stopped listening several sentences ago.
I guess it was the minute I saw the tears behind her eyes,
the ones her smile was supposed to hide...
that's when I knew I wasn't going to like what she had to say.
And him...
when a man so strong turns weak,
it's hard to keep it together.
But they are,
and I am.
and it's going to be fine.
the waiting, and wondering
that's always the hard part.


I know she's looking down on me.

Time runs out.

I've spent enough time waiting
Wondering
(Hoping?)
Was this secretly my reason?
Sometimes we keep secrets so well,
That we don't even know them ourselves.
But how long can you hold onto nothing?
Especially when there may be something,
That could be everything...

I know I said I would, but...

I can't do it...
after all these years,
I can't be so insignificant.
And I can't go back in time...
the reality is your hers,
you were never really mine.


[let me ride into the sunset]

and why shouldn't I?

I've been whispering too long...
the anticipated absence is like a freedom,
and suddenly I'm all about screaming.

Today...

my horoscope tells me:

"Even if you don't think you are skilled at creative writing, write your ideas down.

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results -- which is probably why you feel as though you're going crazy. One of your relationships is going through some turmoil, and the two of you seem to be dealing with the same issue over and over again. So try a different approach -- it's the only way you'll get different results. Think of other ways to communicate. Writing your thoughts down will help you get clarity."

I think it may be on to something...

Leap

you can't see the ground from where we're standing.
you have no idea how high up we are.
there's no rope to cling to
and no harness strapping us in,
but still
you decided to jump with me
with faith that the net will appear.
thank you...
for trusting me that much.

maybe we'll just grow wings.

I've always known

It was never me.

So long.

Too many people living for tomorrow...
I'm tryina live for today.

Maybe I spoke too soon this time.

I think I now know why we've never tried to be us
While you were already part of an us.
It doesn't work when you add another.
I'm not sure how to be us that way.
Twos a company...



::in the middle of this I realized it could be more than one person. damn::

the simple truth.

"I'm a magnet for unavailable men, and I'm sick of it."

Musing...

I never really thought I had a muse.
How a-musing.