quick, jumbled thoughts.

i've been thinking too much about what it could be. but the truth is i don't know. i've tried to make something out of nothing, all the while hoping. but really i knew. and i wasn't gonna do it again. have to back up and let it be what it is. after all it'll come when it comes...and this case i think it came for them. i've got so much else to worry about anyway. it's like my life's just starting...sure i know my life started twenty-four years ago...but it's a new beginning. i've realized how much my family's pride is resting on my shoulders. and i won't let them down. it's not an easy load to carry, but my mom built me strong. all i hope to be is half the woman she is.