like an out of body experience

i look down at myself
suit, piece, and bling.
i made it.


d(f)oo(t)r

quick, jumbled thoughts.

i've been thinking too much about what it could be. but the truth is i don't know. i've tried to make something out of nothing, all the while hoping. but really i knew. and i wasn't gonna do it again. have to back up and let it be what it is. after all it'll come when it comes...and this case i think it came for them. i've got so much else to worry about anyway. it's like my life's just starting...sure i know my life started twenty-four years ago...but it's a new beginning. i've realized how much my family's pride is resting on my shoulders. and i won't let them down. it's not an easy load to carry, but my mom built me strong. all i hope to be is half the woman she is.

have a little faith.

when you have faith, things have a way of working themselves out.
yesterday was a beautiful day...one i will never forget. yea, it was mixed with a hint of sadness, and didn't go exactly as planned. but was better then i hoped.

on to the next...

not again

the wheels in my head are moving about a million miles per minute. i have so much i wanna say and don't know where to start. but damn...why does it seem like when something good happens something bad has to happen too.

i'm excited..yet feel bad for being excited
i'm sad...yet feel bad for feeling sad
i don't think i'm selfish...
but i really thought my day would be able to be simply a happy one this time.

it's like deja vu...


just trying to keep the faith.

i am my biggest critic.

"i expect perfection from you because that's all i've seen from you thus far. but everyone makes mistakes, don't beat yourself up for it..."

they expect a lot from me because i've shown them a lot...that's a hard concept to grasp, but i hope i got it. they're expectations mean so much.

...lesson learned...and well appreciated

positivity

i stumbled to find my way to this point
and now the countdown begins.
i have no idea what to expect,
but i'm not worried.
cus the end is just the beginning
and the beginning has no end.
i'll find my way.

why

...do some people have the ability to make your day with just one word..."hi"
and a smile brighter than the sun forms across your face

::sigh::